Introduction
There are about 2 million millionaires in the United Sates. Some are worth tens, or hundreds of millions. There are even a few billionaires. With house prices starting at a million in many of the more desirable neighborhoods in major metro areas, a million is not what it was in the 50’s or 60’s. It used to be shorthand for rich. Today, the number is at least 10 million. But hey, once you get a million the next 9 is a lot easier.

Either way, it’s heartening to know that lots of people found ways to get rich. Perhaps you can too. Let’s examine the reality behind the mythology of wealth accumulation. How do people really get rich? Here is a systematic examination of every possible way this might happen.

1. Inheritance
A. Parents: The biological lottery, you likely know already if this is going to happen. Problem is that with increasing longevity and the likelihood of only 20 to 30 years separation in birth, you are likely to be nearing retirement age before you can cash in. Doesn’t help much when you need a house down payment in your late 20’s, money for raising the kids, in your 30’s, help sending them to college in your 40’s, starting a business along the way, and so on.

B. Marriage: First realize that men die before women, so this is not going to work for them unless they marry old. For women however, this is absolutely the best way to get rich. Marry a workaholic, let him slave away chasing the dream until he finally hits the big time, and then promptly (hopefully) drops dead in his 50’s from a heart attack. Sell his business, stash the cash, date the pool boy and get plastic surgery trying to recapture the youth you wasted. Success!

2. Marry Rich
A. Women: You have been watching too many soap operas and chick flicks, and reading too many tabloids. Your prince, that takes you away from the evil stepmother and your dreary life of drudgery, is pure Disney fantasy. Back to the laundry Cinderella! Rich people like to marry rich people, as all groups tend to marry their own. It will be difficult if not impossible for you to fit in and be accepted because you don’t know the codes and can’t recognize the icons. You didn’t go the “right” schools, nor “summer” at the right resort area, nor can you rattle off the exotic destinations around the world you visited, nor can you sport the accents, wear the overpriced garb (nor recognize the brand or a fake at 50 yards), talk about your days at Harvard, and so on.

You can no more do this than you can fit into a tribe of Australian Aboriginals in the outback. It’s smart for the rich to only marry each other since their primary preoccupation is preserving their wealth at all costs. No real motivation to give half to you. If you are already rich than that issue is moot. The rich also field armies of lawyers and bankers that will force a prenup, without their client having to be the bad guy. He will just shrug and say “mumsy” insists. This nips any chance at a jackpot for you, and a dilution in wealth for him, in the bud. You may only get a million or two. For every Anna Nicole there are countless gold-diggers that ended up with a bus ticket back to Iowa and not much else. The marriage plan only works if you wait it out and hubby dies (see above).

B. Men: The men in her tribe will rally and block your attempts to act out your gigolo fantasy. Not gonna happen. On the other hand, if she is a society “reject” and hard to pawn off, they may reluctantly take you in. But only as far as the guest quarters. A prenup will be served with breakfast, and sign you will or it’s out the back (servant’s) door.

3. Savings
There was a poor shoemaker, who every week, faithfully and without fail, saved a dollar of his meager earnings. His dream was to one day be rich, like the fine gents whose shoes he repaired. Year after year he saved. Finally, as he approached his retirement at age 65, he found himself a rich man too. How did he do it? He married a rich widow. What about his savings? Not enough for a down payment on a modest house let alone the mansion he now resides in.

One of our most cherished American myths is that if we work hard, are thrifty, save 10% or more of our pay, that the “miracle” of compound interest will magically transport us to Millionaireville. If you look at the fine print on all the charts and graphs you will note that the exponential curve does not rise much for the first 30 years. Depending on how much 10% adds up to, you may only see a couple hundred thousand by then. Now factor inflation into the mix.

Most of us save less than 1% of our earnings. In fact, overall our savings rate is negative as we go into debt to support a lifestyle we can’t afford. Or perhaps we foolishly get sick, injured, lose a job, or experience other setbacks in life. Or take care of family members that are ill or disabled. All most of us will see in 30 years is a million dollars in credit card debt with an expected payoff date sometime after 2870.

4. Superstar
You can throw a ball through a hoop. So what? Millions of others can do the same. You think you can sing. Watch American Idol for a reality check – it’s amazing how many contestants with no discernible talent are perplexed and heartbroken when they discover that they are alone (with their “self-esteem” promoting parents and loyal friends) in the belief that they sound any better than a cat being run over by a truck. You want to be an actor? Table six needs more bread. A writer? Save us some time and put your manuscript in the recycle dumpster with the other 126 we got this morning.

Fame and fortune in sports and the arts seems an attainable dream because each of the success stories get immense press coverage while the other 99.99999% that are wannabe “losers” get none. If a plane crashes, it’s all over the news. “If it bleeds, it leads.” The reality is that there are 40,000 deaths in cars every year and only a handful in planes. You are more likely to get hit by a meteor than die in a plane crash. Especially if you never fly! Same odds for being a superstar. You can squander your life chasing this rainbow….look at the pretty lights…

5. Sell Out
The top brass at the Fortune 500 get huge salaries, stock options, and countless perks. Their workers, of course, get squat. But look at the odds. Let’s say the top 10 executives at the top 500 companies can get the prize. That’s 5,000 lucky winners that elbowed and clawed their way up the ladder. Perhaps a 1 in 10,000 chance that you get the key to the executive bathroom. Are those good enough odds for you to stay for 30 years trying? And sacrificing your family and personal life?

If you can’t sell out big, perhaps small. Go for the stock options and like all those Googlites and Microsofters you can cash in too and retire early. Sounds like a plan. Problem is, as in horse racing, you have to pick the winner before the race, when it’s near impossible, not after when it’s obvious. Nice try though!

6. Entrepreneur
Second only to inheritance as the most likely path to riches. And let’s not forget that every inheritance had its beginnings in some kind of enterprise that made money (legal or not… just ask the rum-running Kennedys). There is a common myth that 4 out of 5 businesses fail in the first 5 years. What’s not mentioned is that virtually every successful entrepreneur got there only after numerous “failures.” You don’t learn to play the piano, speak French, or do calculus overnight either. For those that truly possess the right stuff, and don’t give up, the dream can come true.

On the way you can expect, many disappointments and setbacks, like bankruptcy, divorce, and depression. Even then it’s a long shot with the one that makes it heralded and shown much adulation while the guy that did much the same thing, perhaps without enough lucky breaks, is ridiculed as a chump and a nobody. If you do make it, just be sure you don’t drop dead at 55 with your trophy-wife holding your bankbook as her trophy. Maybe the “dumb blonde” was smarter than she looked? She lived the good life all those years and will likely live to a ripe old age with your money to keep her cozy at night.